Being forgetful is the bane of my life but it can also be a boon. "Sorry darling, I totally forgot to switch the oven on, I was so busy doing the ironing. Let's have a takeaway instead" or "Sorry I am an hour late boss, I forgot to set my clock back." (the fact that you would be an hour early for work if you forgot the autumn time change is beside the point!). More often, it is a case of "Have you seen my wallet / keys / spectacles / mobile phone? I put it / them down somewhere safe and now I can't find it / them." Perhaps we should all be issued with handbags to carry things like that or would I simply forget where I had put the bag and lose everything by default? Sometimes, we generate elaborate safeguards to allow us to remember. A set of hooks by the back or front door on which keys get placed for instance. This way, you will have sets of keys for everything in one location including keys for things that you can't remember what it was they were for. Then you have to train yourself to use the hooks. "Have you seen my keys? I'm sure I hung them up last night". However, being forgetful on purpose or by accident isn't what I wanted to ask you about today. If there was one embarrassing thing that you could erase from your memory, what would it be? Is there something in your dark and distant past that you would like to forget but just can't? Did you ever stand in a group of people making sarcastic comments about someone only to find that they were standing right behind you? Perhaps you got caught breaking wind in polite company?
My embarrassing moment happened when I was dating Donna for the first time. I had arranged to pick her up after her evening class and then we would go and have a quiet drink and a talk. Being of a slightly nervous disposition about the whole affair, I popped into my favourite local and had a couple of pints to beforehand. The time duly arrived for me to pick Donna up and as it was a beautiful crisp and frosty night she suggested that we forgo the drink and take a romantic walk along the local cliff tops instead. It seemed like a good idea at the time but with the two pints of good ale inside me and the freezing cold weather, my bladder started to let me know in no uncertain terms that I was going to be in trouble sooner rather than later and I could hardly nip behind a bush to relieve myself on our first date could I? We walked for a couple of miles before I suggested that we turn back because it was getting bitterly cold (the seawater in Titchfield Harbour froze that night to give you some idea of just how cold it was) and my bladder was sending me increasingly urgent warning signals. Donna agreed that it was a bit chilly and we eventually got back to my trusty Triumph Herald and I drove her home at a fair old rate of knots. As the car warmed up, I felt my behind getting warmer and damper and I honestly believed I had wet myself. When we arrived back at Donna's Grandmother's house, where she lived, I opted not to come in for coffee and excused myself very hurriedly, without a goodnight kiss, and dashed off into the night towards Portsmouth where I lived. As soon as I had left the confines of Lee-on-the-Solent I nipped out of the car and behind a suitable bush where my bladder thanked me for opening the flood gates at last. I hadn't actually wet myself, I am pleased to say. It was just that my legs had got so cold that the heat from the car warmed them up in a suitable fashion to make me think that I had. It was embarrassing and I did tell Donna about it later and we did laugh but I would like to be able to expunge it from my memory... along with the episode of the opening farm gate but that is another story!
Now that I have opened my heart to you, it is your turn to write me a comment about your experience. Anonimity is guaranteed (don't send me your email address and use a pseudonym as HH and Plane Hugger already do).
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Do you know what a photobomb is? Well, it is when someone is posing nicely for the camera and someone in the background (or foreground for that matter) pulls a silly face or does something untoweard or stupid. Here are some animal related photobombs.
How do you say to someone "I love you"? Do you say it with flowers? With a gift of chocolates? No. That is old fashioned and fuddy duddy. These days you say it with a padlock. I'm not quite sure what that says about your forthcoming marriage but then I am an old fuddy duddy fogey!
PInball. What a chequered history this seemingly harmless machine game has had.
youtube. I can't do better than have The Who with Pinball Wizard.